Memorial

Many thanks to everyone who attended Ella's memorial service, or sent their condolences.

The program for the service is available here.

Here are the texts of (most of) the speaker's remarks:

Denise Brown, director of the Montclair High School Dance Company where Ella danced all through High School, dedicated this year's performance to Ella - see the dedication in the program.

The Macalester Theatre and Dance Department Spring Concert Program also dedicated the performance to Ella, and donated proceeds to her fund.

Lucille Bandes

There are many things to say about Ella–things that those of us who were close to her know, but I just want to talk about a few incidents.

The night before the accident, her grandfather and I had plans to meet Ian and Ella for dinner and a concert at Carnegie Hall. We don't drive, so our aide recommended a driver who was a friend of hers to bring us to the city and take us from the restaurant to the concert hall. Ian couldn't get to dinner, but Ella joined us in the car and we chatted with the driver for 15 minutes or so on the way to the theater. When our aide told the driver later what had happened, he burst into tears and said that just on that short trip, Ella was so sweet and charming that he fell in love with her.

Another incident that stands out for me is that when I turned 75 the family gathered to celebrate my birthday. That was 16 years ago, so Ella was only a little girl, but she sat down next to me and asked me all sorts of questions about my childhood and my life. To Ella I was not just her grandmother, but a person.

At other family gatherings, when our six grandchildren got together, Ella was the only girl among five male cousins, and sometimes she would say, "I feel left out." I thought it was remarkable that she could express this feeling. Elle was very much in tune with her own feelings and those of others. She would have been a wonderful therapist. I truly believe that this loss affects not only her family and friends, but the whole community to which she has already given so much and could have given so much more.